Friday, November 30, 2007

Frustrated

So last Wednesday I had an appointment with the superintendent and the middle school principal (my absolute biggest fan and advocate) to set up my student teaching/job for next year, Fall of 08. But they both got sick and it was rescheduled for today. Then today they both went home sick again, and it has been rescheduled for next Wed!!! Ugh!!!! I keep psyching myself up for nothing. For those of you who don't know, because of the dire circumstances of music in SE Idaho, a student can be hired on as a school teacher and be paid, and count it as student teaching. So I am supposed to be setting that up right now, and I am getting tired of it being put off. I hate not knowing what is happening in my future. I went back to school because Heavenly Father told me to, but because of my lack of faith, I am continually worried about next year. Darin is not worried at all, and says I went back to school because we felt good about it, and that we don't know what the reason is, and that that is okay. Usually, our roles are reversed. It's a bit strange for Darin to have more blind faith than me. Oh well. I plan on getting batteries for my camera today, and then I can post some more picks. I think I don't have the energy this year to put up all of my decorations this year. I am just too tired. I can't believe after Dec. I will only be half done! I will survive. I am having a committee meeting next week to pick out books for my book club for next year. Anybody have any must read suggestions? I am really excited for the committee. Last year everyone got to pick one book to read. I wasn't satisfied with those results. This year a committee was nominated, myself and two other people. We will be picking out all of the books. Des (my good friend), thinks I'll get my way on everything with the committee : ) For those of you who think I am crazy for continuing to be involved with the bookclub while in school, it is one of those things that keeps me sane. I have to have fun in this life. Book club is fun for me. It gets boring to only read things you have to read, or to never see your friends. It is only once a month. And that brings me to an important point--having fun is important. I have friends who claim to not have any time for fun, that it would stress them out. Well in my opinion, these same people are stressed out no matter what they do, and I think a little fun might lighten their load. What do you think? Is it necassary to carve out personal fun time, or do some people really truly not need it? This has been weighing my mind lately. I just wish more women could be happy. Is that such a bad thing?

7 comments:

Lizzie said...

I am so sorry that it got canceled. I can't imagine your anxiety. But, I do agree with Darin. The Lord will make things happen that are supposed to happen since you did what you are told. I love you! Oh, you should send me the book club list too. Maybe I'll read them along with you. I need some new books to read.

Danielle said...

I totally agree. We need to have some fun along the way! I don't have any book suggestions. I wish I did. I really am sorry about the meeting getting cancelled a second time! I can imagine how frustrating that would be. I love you so much!

Grandma, Nonnie said...

I feel that everyone should have some fun in life, or they will go bonkers. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy or in this case jill. What a disappointment to have been cancelled twice. I am so sorry. I know you would've gone to school again only if the Lord told you to. Keep the faith it will all be revealed to you in time. I also know that you are probably working too hard. As for Christmas decor in the house. It is much more important to read to the girls and spend time with them especilly at this time of year. Believe me by this time next year you will have forgotten your frustations and you'll have more time. The memories are made when every one is happy, not how the house is decorated. KIds don't remember that, but they will remember the fun times you had together. So go out to pizza and play in the snow make cookies and hot choclate. I love you so much
Grandma

Megan and Greg said...

Are you crazy? YES FUN TIME IS IMPORTANT!!! I was JUST talking about this with Gregory last night. I was saying how life gets busier everyday for me and I was used to oodles of extra time, and suddenly I don't. I always eventually do find time for myself and Greg, but I get stressed out 'cause my day gets scheduled full and I'm afraid I won't get that personal time. Because it is SO IMPORTANT!!!! ALWAYS!!!! ALWAYS MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF!!! Otherwise we just can't make it. The dishes will eventually get done, but if you don't make time for yourself, that might not get done, and that is MORE important! If it doesn't stress you out and makes you feel good, DO IT!!!!!! DO IT!!!!! DO IT!!!!!! I love you rebecca, have faith, it will ALL work out. Every little bit. There's some hymn that comforts me that says how the Lord will prepare/ comfort/ protect in the future AS HE HAS THE PAST!!!!! And when I remember that it's like "DUH!!! Of course it will work out! He's never left me alone and undone! He'll help me again like he always has." I love you rebecca.

AMY AND MIKEY said...

Haven't you ever noticed that the people that take the time to do those kind of things (have fun)- their life is calmer? Or seems more stable? There was ONE term that was extremely busy and hard, and I wanted to do fun things, but ofcourse I didn't have the time, so I told myself that everyday I got to scrapbook for just 15 minutes after dinner- and I would- and that term was so much better than all the other terms EVER once I started doing that. And I think it's because it gave me something to look forward to, it made me happy, I felt accomplished, and I felt better about doing the not fun stuff because I had just gotten done doing something fun- or I could tell myself (just a little longer, and I get to scrapbook). I know a group of women who play cards once a month, and they all chip in 5 dollars- and someone is in charge of taking all the 5 dollars and buying something really cool with it. And whoever wins the game gets the prize. I actually was invited to join them- (they're all mormons) but I said no- because "I was so busy" sometimes i wonder if I should have said yes, and that it would have been fun. BUT- anyway- ofcourse having fun is important. Your school thing- are you stressed because you are worried that you aren't going to get done in time for whatever Heavenly Father has instore for you (the reasoning behind needing to work)? OR- you just want to get it done? or what? I'm not understanding the worried part. Because- You're doing what heavenly father has asked you to do. Are you concerned of WHY he wants you to go to school? Are you worried something bad is going to happen? And you're worried about that? I love you-

Sharon/Mom/ Grandma said...

Amen amen amen. Fun is important. When you and Danielle said that at thanksgiving it really struck a chord with me. that is the reason I went to that silly tennis thing. it was good for me to do something totally different just for the heck of it.
I'm sorry about your meetings. Heavenly Father will take care of things and you will know what to do when the time comes. Lately I have had that happen a lot, the old parable of taking a step into the dark and you get enough light to take one more step. I think that is becuase we can really only handle today!!

As far as books, I will think about that. One Terese's mom reccomended was Green Dolphin Street by Elizabeth Goudge.. I liked it a lot. It makes you think. well, love you and glad you're blogging!!!

Not quite the Bradys said...

Rebecca-
Yes! Taking time for yourself is IMPORTANT!!! There are people (a lot of them in Relief Society) that will say this is wrong, selfish, not Christlike, blah, blah, blah. I say "He who would kindle another must first glow himself.". I believe this applies not just to sharing your testimony, but just being an all-round cheerful person. You need to do things that make you feel happy and develop the unique person you are before you can start rubbing good stuff off on other people.

Books- maybe I mentioned this one before. I can't remember- anyway, "Goose Girl" by Shannon Hale was pretty enjoyable. It is well-written and you really care about the characters. The downside is that she didn't end it well. The story ends just fine but the writing kind of comes to a screeching halt halfway out in the intersection. Glad you're blogging. Talk to you later.
Amy